Why hate

I came across this facebook group today "i hate myself i hate the world and the life". My first reaction to this group was definintely shock, I never could imagine that someone could use the word hate so many times about so many things in one sentence. I have to say, there are times I feel this way about life, but hating myself... I am really proud to say I have never ever thought this way before. It may be a cliche, but a wise person once told me "love yourself, for if you don't, how can you expect anybody else to love you".

We do control our capacity for happiness and love, we just have to find the little light switch in our lives that illuminates our lives. My light switch can be controlled in multiple ways: pouncy, ice cream and dancing. Pouncy is to share my problems without any judgement. I don't know what is it about ice cream but it is well tried and tested on many girls, and it works on me too... the simple pleasure of tasting something sweet. Dancing is my way of channeling my feelings and energy, where I can place all focus on purely enjoying myself.

To end the post, this is a cute (maybe only to myself) proverb that I found on the internet
"Be happy while you're living, for you're a long time dead." Yes many would agree that that is definitely my main goal in life...

One can always dream

Studying for exams ranks quite high on the list of my "most dreaded". Therefore I resorted to giving myself incentives to study, which until now I say is quite effective. Knowing there is something to look forward to at the end of my arduous study period, keeps me sane and focused. This Something has sadly to say gradually become harder and harder to attain... Long gone were the days of primary school exams where the mark was set at 90 :( These days anywhere in the distinction range is good enough for me, but to make up for the difficulty I must say my Something has become more and more expensive as well !! Aren't they gorgeous? Now if only I can get myself to focus on the pile of papers in front of me...

Twinkle

I have never been stargazing in Perth. Maybe its because no one ever suggested it or maybe I just never had the time and the motivation to. When Lee suggested it though, compared to going for bubble tea or coffee which we usually do, stargazing was the clear favourite. Most of the time, I am too active and never really manage to slow down enough to admire the scenery. However once in a while, it is calming to admire the beauty in nature. That was exactly how I felt just now, lying down and looking up at the stars in the sky (even though they were a little blurry due to moisture in the air according to Lee), revelling in a different world where everything was still and quiet. The only loud sound was probably my voice as we settled into our entertaining conversation.

It was a little sad that I have never been to this spot after living in the area for 3 years and having driven by countless times. We were by the river in an undisturbed and just bright enough to not seem scary area where the houses were beautiful as only how large perfectly kept houses with huge lawns could look. It made me wish that I owned a house by the river where I could come out onto the balcony and look out to the river whenever I felt like it (being a regular perfect spot to think).

The only thing that bothered me after a while was the weather. Even though I wore three layers of clothing, had a scarf and boots, I could feel myself going numb. By the time we decided to head to somewhere warmer, it was already 12 and definitely time to head back home. Thankfully, the heating system in Lee's car was powerful and it was toasty after only a few minutes of the heater at full blast. My welcome warm ending to an ideal way to spend the night :)

One month

Its been a month since I started salsa. Looking back to the time I started, I cringe at the thought of myself blindly following the guys and having no control of my movement. I have definitely improved! Today was the monthly salsa night, where finally I get to dance and spin around freely in a big space, without having to collide into anyone. Looking around the big space, thankfully there were more guys than girls, which meant that I was asked to dance quite a few times :)
I got to try dancing with different leads, some of who were so stiff, it was like dancing with a moving wall, some of who did not seem to be dancing in time that it seemed to be a different dance altogether, some of who were so boring I felt my feet were going to sleep from lack of use. The best dancers led me around really well and I managed to pull off spins I never thought I would dare to attempt. I was dipped as well! It feels like I am part of an old movie where the lady always gets dipped that the end of a dance. It was so exciting and automatically put a HUGE smile on my face, plus no one was close to dropping me. Therefore the dip is now my favourite move.
Another move that I like is called the butterfly, which basically is a few turns which end up in me being back to front with the guy and then moving left and right. This is where my arms are extended and move in a up-down pattern together with steps moving left and right. Moving my arms up and down definitely feels like I am flapping my arms. However, I am sure it looked considerably better than I felt about the flapping. Still although I met quite a few guys, I did not get to dance with a really cool guy who I really admire for dancing without the frilly hand movements and hip shaking that some of the guys tend of overuse :D Well all in time.... I will get my chance...

2.15 in the morning

People are not normally awake at this hour but somehow I am at my most active stage. Maybe it has got to do with someone's alarm clock sounding at 2 in the morning... Well at least it is the electronic sounding one that just goes "di-di-di-di" over again, and not like mine which rings via some striking mechanism and very loudly! I used to stay in a hostel where one of the students had THAT ringing clock which would go off at 7 in the morning and not stop ringing for what seemed like forever (it may be only a few minutes though) until he decided to actually get up and switch it off. I cannot believe how anyone could sleep through that horrible noise. Oh.. I could hear his alarm clock all the way from my room, one floor and one corridor down. For me, I literally jump out of bed and immediately slam the "off" switch once the alarm clock sounds. My clock therefore looks more damaged than most, seeing as how it takes one too many swan dives off the stand in my fervour to shut it off. For a plastic clock, I must say that mine is definitely rather hardy!

A problem though is that after immediately switching off the alarm, i go straight back to sleep. I need a mechanical alarm clock with a snooze button :P Presently, I have two alarms set for the morning, and one more during exams!! The electronic ones do not work particularly well with me though because I am very much a heavy sleeper and the beeping is just not irritating and continuous enough for me to care about turning the alarm off. My dad was made to comb through the neighbourhood shops in order to find my mechanical ringing alarm clock, after mum's complaints that she was woken up by my handphone alarm, while I slept through it.

Its 3 already and I still can hear my housemate's alarm clock.. I think she keeps hitting the snooze button instead of the "off" swtich!

singstar satisfaction

Dim sum on Sunday was supposed to be the highlight of today. What else could match the spicy tastiness of chicken feet, the sweetness of the custard bun, the tender texture of a beancurd roll... those are just a sample of how much I ate. However, it was singstar that made my day!

I never thought much about singstar.. after all it seemed like karaoke, which I go for quite often since there's nothing much to do here. Oh and of course, I was immediately self conscious since singing for me is mostly done in the privacy of the shower, plus I was going to be rated. After watching two guys before me get trashed by singstar fanatics then laughed at, I was acutely aware of how i needed to get as many points as possible, by matching the timing and harmony shown on the screen. It looked rather complicated and stress inducing. Once I started singing and had the hang of it, it definitely appealed to my competitiveness. It was amazing how much bonding can be done over karaoke with us passing the mic around or singing duets with each other. Some of the songs which I didn't remember I listened to ages ago were dredged out of my brain just by singing or listening to someone else sing it. Yes I would proudly say I had fun singing my heart out and beating everyone at it.

Singstar anyone?

heat, time, pressure

this is actually an older blog but I just wanted to post it here as well.

to turn a rock into a gem...

takes heat

takes time

takes pressure

just food for thought... open to interpretation...